The Second Adolescence

The adolescent years are a time of great upheaval and complexity, as we go from the narrow horizons of childhood to the more expansive responsibilities and demands of adulthood. Leaving this period of life generally brings a sense of relief and stability. Sometimes we just look at our accomplishments and say, "Wow, I made it!" "I saw through the mist and now know my place in the world." Those of us who have experienced this false sense of comfort eventually return to a place of perplexity, insecurity, and existential questioning. 

So, you want to know what a quarter-life crisis is. Actually, it appears to be a very recent trend among Americans under the age of 30. In adolescence, just as we begin to have a feeling of stability, a greater sense of identity, and a sense of life direction, we frequently experience a second coming of questioning the foundation on which our lives have been built. Though similar to a midlife crisis, the instability of those in their early twenties makes them more prone to acting erratically than those in their forties. Uncertainty, a lack of routine, and the unsettling awareness that one's time is not being spent in accordance with one's ideals are the soil in which a quarter-life crisis might flourish. When thinking about social issues, we often reflect on established American customs around partnership/marriage, career development, and social networks. I mean, look at that job you have! Not good enough; you could be laying the groundwork for future financial success with a side gig. What's the deal with those three unremarkable people you've been chatting with on Hinge? You need to "put yourself out there" more if you want to find a companion for life. What if you majored in the wrong field in college? What if you had gotten your GED instead? Should you continue your education? 

The answers to these questions are seldom certain, and there is no assurance that the path you've selected will lead to success. While this is completely normal and part of growing up as a young twenty-something between the ages of 20 and 30, there are some factors to consider that can increase your risk of significant distress, anxiety, depression, and a variety of other mental and physical health issues. According to research, those of us with stable family lives and strong community connections are often shielded from this transitional crisis becoming something more sinister. However, this isn't always enough to soften the blow of questioning everything about our adult lives, or we come from communities that don't provide the same kinds of support that can help us get through this difficult time. If you find yourself feeling stuck or noticing symptoms of anxiety, overwhelm, depression, or turning to drugs and alcohol to cope with your feelings, speaking with a professional may be beneficial. Depending on your specific life situation, there are a variety of professionals who can assist you in getting through this period and charting a course forward. Are you feeling stuck when it comes to making a career decision? Speak with a career counselor. Have you noticed that your mood is consistently irritable, that you have trouble sleeping and/or have low energy, that you have thoughts of hopelessness, that you are stuck, or that you are struggling to cope with strong emotions in a healthy way? Speak with a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, or someone similar. Do you struggle to put down the bottle or spend money on drugs that help you get through the day or unwind at night? Examine the options for drug and alcohol treatment. The bottom line is to ASK FOR HELP if you see yourself struggling. While increased stress is normal during this time, if it becomes unmanageable, seek professional help immediately; the longer you wait, the more likely these symptoms will worsen. If you've passed the point of no return, don't despair; it's never too late to start the healing process.